Do you have martyr tendencies?
Here are some of the martyr’s symptoms and suggestions to ease the martyr:
Do you often have the following propensities?
- Feeling like you are not compensated enough for the amount of work that you do, and yet resistant to ask for better compensation.
- Placing others’ interests above your own often.
- Frequently rearranging your schedule to suit others’ at your inconvenience.
- Doing your best to meet others’ expectations of you, even at your own discomfort.
- As business owner, do you have a tendency to immediately lower your fee whenever a client mentions that it is high for them? Or give a lot of free services?
- If working for others, are you working long hours and feeling uncomfortable or guilty about cutting your extra hours.
These above are some of the symptoms of the martyr.
Traits of the Martyr: Martyrs are very generous and compassionate in nature, they care about the wellbeing of others, they usually love to help others. These are great traits to have, but everything in life is about balance. There is a natural flow of giving and receiving, and receiving is something that martyrs can benefit from by doing more of. Martyrs are usually great givers yet poor receivers, whether they downplay a compliment given to them by another, rejecting help when offered to them by others, or not asking for help when they need it. Because there is energy outflow more than inflow, martyrs usually end up eventually feeling taken advantage of, unappreciated, depleted, drained and resentful.
Suggestions for the Martyr: The lesson or message here is one of balance, simply said, martyrs need to learn to take care of themselves first and foremost to then be fully in their power to help others. Here are some suggestions/tips for the martyr, not necessarily in order of importance:
- Self-love, self-care, self-appreciation and self-respect are in order for martyrs.
- Be aware of when something doesn’t feel good. If it doesn’t feel good and you are feeling obligated to do something to please another, then do not do it.
- Setting boundaries, know what you are willing to do and when. Respect your preference.
-When doing something for another, do it freely, without agendas attached to it. Do it without expectations of getting anything back.
- Do something every day, that is simple, joyful and life-enhancing to you, (this is part of the self-nurturing)
The more martyrs learn to take care of themselves, the happier they can be and more energy is readily available for them to continue doing what they love: helping others.
To know more about the martyr archetype as it relates to money, kindly click here:
If you sense that you have propensities for being a martyr, and would like to start changing your mindset about it, kindly listen to the meditation/affirmation titled Loving and easing the martyr by clicking here.